Giving Compliments

One of the most beautiful things we can do for each other is build each other up.  One of the simplest ways to build someone else up is simply to give them a compliment on how they look, how they make you feel, etc.  But there is just simply something wrong with how compliments are sometimes given.

Being facetious

Fret not if you think you are in the receiving end of a facetious compliment.  The problem here lies on the compliment-giver, not the receiver.  As a confident person, simply take the compliment with grace, and move on.  This kind of insincere compliment only makes the giver look bad and speaks of immaturity on their part.  Come on, can we say “mean girls” from high school all over again?

However, if you are the compliment-giver and you are being facetious – a word of caution –  only other immature people will go with it.  The old adage applies here – if you’ve got nothing good to say… don’t say it!  You’re not earning any brownie points by being that way.  This, perhaps worked in middle school and high school, but not anymore.  You’ve grown up.

Tearing yourself down in the process

And I could go on a forever tangent here.  Nothing agitates me more than getting a compliment from someone who is tearing themselves down in the process.  Once recently, and many times before, I have gotten a compliment on how good I look, only to say thank you and have the other person say something along the lines of “and I look like I just grabbed my clothes from the garage sale.” (or something along those lines).  I’ve always been left speechless.  Mostly because I get so angry that I can’t think clearly.

But to you, beautiful lady who tears herself down in the process of complimenting others, please, don’t do it.  Compliment away all you want –  I firmly believe complimenting others is good for your soul, but please don’t tear yourself down in the process.  You may not look or feel like a million bucks that day, but that doesn’t mean you get to bring yourself down.

 

 

How to handle compliments

As an image consultant, I like to look the part.  So I dress up with as much style according to my goals.  Because of this, I often get compliments on my outfits and how I look.  It is no secret, either, that I wasn’t always as well dressed, and that I even fell under the sloppy/frumpy category more often than not.  So when I started dressing better, and the compliments started coming in, I never knew how to handle them.  I also noticed that I wasn’t alone.  I often heard other women uncomfortable in their own skin when a compliment came their way.

My initial reaction was one of the blushing girl – nothing wrong with that.  I was lacking self-confidence, and being an introvert, I definitely never drew any attention to myself, so when the attention started coming towards me, I was shy, to say the least.  Thru much blushing, however, I still managed to say thank you, but -and here came a crucial mistake- I started grabbing the compliments and tearing them down.  For example, someone would say to me, “You look really good in that sweater,” and I would say something like “Oh, thanks, this old thing?” or “Thank you, I got it for $5!”

The problem with comments like that is that they only partially accept the compliment, and they speak of a lower self-esteem.  It’s like saying “Thank you, you’re right, I do look good in this sweater, but it’s an old/cheap/ugly/etc. piece of fabric.”  In all honesty, no one, unless they specifically ask, wants to know whether the sweater is 10 years old or if you bought it at the bargain locker.

So, with this in mind, as uncomfortable as it might be, next time you get complimented for your looks or your outfit, simply say thank you with a smile.  There is no need to tear down the compliment.  Simply accept it with as much grace as possible and move on.

The resume

Oftentimes, especially in this day and age, the resume really is the first impression you have with a potential employer.

A resume is a summary of your skills, abilities and accomplishments. It is a quick advertisement of who you are. It is a snapshot of you with the intent of emphasizing interests and secure you a job interview.  A resume is not an autobiography, and should ideally be one-page long.

A resume should be tailored to your professional goals.  It is not uncommon for serious job-seekers to have a resume with 2 or 3 variations according to the job they are applying for.  Since it is a snapshot of you and a quick advertisement of who you are, it is necessary to make sure it is accurate, carefully written, and critiqued.  It should look good, but it should also be scannable.

In the “look good” department, there are many  templates you can get.  Microsoft Word, Google Docs, and similar word processing programs often come with resume templates you can use.  Similarly, you can buy templates from different websites, work with a graphic designer on creating one, or even buy one from Etsy.  Make sure, however, that the design is in line with the job you want.

Making your resume scannable is very important in this day and age.  Many employers don’t necessarily look at printed resumes anymore, and simply scan the resumes for keywords.  Be familiar with the keywords for your field, and especially familiar with the keywords for your desired job position.  Make sure, however, that they are in line with your experience, and that your resume looks good in every other way, because once your resume is picked for having the right keywords, it will undergo the same scrutiny as in the olden days before computers and keywords.

If you do get an interview, it is customary to have a printed resume ready to hand over to the employer.  In this day and age, too, it is becoming more and more common to simply hand over an electronic copy of your resume.  This can oftentimes be e-mailed in advance, though sometimes, it may be required to hand it over in a thumb drive or memory stick.  For electronic delivery of your resume, pay close attention to what format they want it delivered in (.docx, .pdf, .rtf, .txt, etc).

So, what does an image consultant do?

An image consultant does a wide range of things concerning image, according to a person’s own goals concerning the image they want to project to the rest of the world.  As an image consultant, I hate to admit it, it really is the clothes that make the man, and attract the best possibilities.

Image consultants work in a variety of settings, from freelance to employed by small businesses to Fortune 500 companies.  Their specializations range from personal styling to body image consulting to corporate branding and everything in between.

The most common things he or she can do at a personal level are:

  1. Make-over  Who hasn’t needed a makeover or an updating in style?  Looking outdated just doesn’t help the cause. The make over consultation may include hair and make-up, skin care, and maybe even a fitness and nutrition plan.
  2. Wardrobe consultation  Ever had that one blouse you really loved and you wore until you literally wore it out?  Ever had those shoes that were so cute and ran to the ground?  Ever got dressed in something that didn’t quite feel right?  A wardrobe consultation is a session in which one gets advice on what wardrobe items to keep and which ones to throw away or donate.  It also includes education on what styles and cuts fit your body type and personal style as well as the functional goals.
  3. Personal shopping – Ever gone shopping and hated it because it feels as if nothing fits?  Personal shopping is one on one shopping counseling.  You go shopping with your image consultant.  According to your goals and style, he or she may have already picked out a few shops and boutiques that fit the bill, and work with you to learn what goes and what doesn’t.
  4. Personal dating profile makeover – Ever had a dating profile that didn’t really attract anyone?  Or maybe it attracted people all right, but they were the wrong kind of crowd?  A personal dating profile makeover is help with a mini makeover to potentially attract better and higher quality dates.  Some image consultants may include dating do’s and don’t’s, dining etiquette, and coffee etiquette.
  5. Job hunting – An image consultant may offer resume consulting, job interview skills and mock-ups consulting, proper attire consulting, and realistic job hunting goal-setting (because “finding any job” just doesn’t usually cut it).

Hope this helps!